6 months and 15 days ago, my life altered completely. Yesterday, I won my fight. I finally finished my 12th and final chemo treatment. I'm finally free and I have no more treatments to prepare for. Yesterday was full of celebration as I rang that bell as hard as I could symbolizing that I had won. I had so many emotions run through my had such as happiness and relief. I had Cancer but Cancer never had me. Its a weird feeling knowing that the past 6 months is all behind me know. My verbs have changed from "I have Cancer" to "I HAD Cancer". In way I feel I bit guilty. I've met so many people who have had a much more difficult and longer cancer journey than I have. I'm lucky to have had it the way I did but knowing that I'm done and that there are still people out there fighting makes me a bit sad. On May 16th I never thought that this day would come. Surprisingly, It went by incredibly fast. 6 months ago a good friend told me that this would only be peanuts. I thought she was crazy but she was true. I thought this would ruin everything. I thought It would ruin my career, my education and that I would feel lonely and distant from all my friends. I thought I would loose all my hair and become incredibly sick. Instead I surprised myself and powered through. I certainly lost some hair but not all and I've realized that cancer treatments have changed drastically over the years. Cancer is certainly not my whole story but it is a big chapter in my life that has altered my views on things has certainly changed my outlook on life. It has only made my friendships stronger. Yesterday I was surrounded by my family knowing that I wasn't the only one affected by this. I was so grateful to share my joy with them. Unfortunately I wasn't able to share it with my friends in Newfoundland and the people I met on my amazing camping trip. I knew they were all thinking of me but I wish they could have been there so I could have thanked them for all their love and support they have given me. At such a young age we have all been affected by this and instead of being afraid they gave me strength to beat this. As soon as I left the hospital, I made a very important call to my friend Abby who lived with me at the time I was diagnosed. She too has been affected by all of this and she was the one who helped me create this blog. None of this would have been possible without her. People keep telling me that I inspired so many others. I am very grateful for those kind words and I hope that I can help some one through my blogs get through tough situations in life even if its something other than Cancer. Unfortunately we live in a world where cancer has touched so many and will continue to do so until a definite cure is found. I may not cure cancer but I hope that my words will help someone find comfort and realize that a positive attitude is just as strong as chemo therapy. Don't worry this blog has not ended quite yet. I realize that this journey is not entirely over. In just 28 days, I will be moving back to Newfoundland to get my life back on track. I used to say I wanted to get my life back to normal however; my life will probably never be the same. I don't think you can go through a challenge like I did and not change. I finally have a second chance at life. I'm certainly the same old crazy Kate but I realize that its not worth sweating the small stuff. As long as I have my friends and family's support things will be OK. That doesn't mean I wont be faced with more challenges in the future but this test proved that I can handle anything. Right now I'm focusing on my transition from living with cancer to being a cancer survivor. The next month I will be focusing on healing. I've been told that life after cancer is another challenge. For 6 months the only thing I had that was mine was cancer and now its gone. I'm certainly glad I'm free at last but getting back into the swing of things will be a new mountain for me to climb. I will certainly be sharing my transition and my journey getting back to school with all of you through my blog. Thank you to everyone for their love and support. I knew that I wasn't alone through this. Thank you for believing in me that I had the strength to win this battle, when there was some days when I doubted my self. Every kind word and every card and package that was sent to me helped me believe in myself. Every thing I've learnt I will take with me everywhere I go in life. I can't wait to see what's in store for me in the future, knowing from now on I will live a happy and healthy life. ~A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor~ .... and also "FUCK CANCER!"
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Author: Katie BarkerJust an average Sailor who battled Cancer and won! Archives
August 2018
Categories |