Yesterday I completed Chemo #3 in Peterborough! (Almost halfway!! Whoohoo!) This time the tiredness happened almost immediately. As soon as I got home I went for a nap and managed to eat some supper. However; last night I managed to get to spend some time at the Drive In in Port Hope with Roxanne! I feel like its sometimes good to push myself in order to get better mentally and distract myself. At Chemo, the nurses were surprised that I haven't felt any severe side effects. They say because I'm young, its most likely helping with the side effects of Chemo. Unfortunately, I am not holding my breath. I am enjoying the freedom I have now, but I feel like eventually it will all crash and burn. Honestly, when anything good happens in my life there is always a catch, I swear. I have some bad luck. Lately I've realized I really enjoy painting and have filled up my days listening to music and painting in the garage. I have recently painted jelly bean houses on wood pieces and I have also challenged myself by painting a picture of Cape Spear at sunrise on a piece on barn wood. Even though I've completed those paintings, I can't wait to start a new painting project. I feel like every week it gets better and better because I am finally in a routine and I'm finally getting settled into life back in Cobourg. However, usually at night when I am not busy or distracted, I sometimes feel "down" looking at pictures from everyone's time at sea. I wish I was out there doing the same thing. But for those of you at sea, I really enjoy the fact that you are having the time of your life out there and please take full advantage of everyday you have out there! This summer is actually going by extremely fast! I can not believe I am done treatment #3! In just 2 weeks at my halfway point I get to see my Jen (my best friend from Gander, NL)! I can't wait to see her to talk about her time on the Great Lakes this summer and celebrate my halfway mark through Chemo! I'm sure my morale will boost even more when I get to see her! Here are some pics of my paintings and a quote that I found that related to my new founf love for painting!:
1 Comment
The last time I posted, I was feeling the physical side effects of chemo #1. What I haven't told all of you is the mental side effects. Some days I wake up and I don't want to do anything. It may even be a day where my body feels fine but I just don't want to do anything. Usually it only lasts a morning because I tell myself just to get out of bed and do something, even if it's moving myself from my bed to the couch. I've been really fortunate lately because the days where I've been feeling really down, somehow someone knew to text, call, message or send me something just at the right time. Even if it's just a "hey", it reminds me that I'm not alone.
Last week I completed Chemo #2. This time my body felt really sore that night but other than that I felt fine. I have discovered that 5 days after chemo is when I feel the most tired. People ask me about the nausea and I can't say I've really had any. If this is all I get, I am completely fine but I know that I still have to take it day by day because things ALWAYS change. Talking about plans...my treatment plan changed again (what a surprise). I was supposed to be getting treatment in Cobourg but the schedule in Cobourg would set me back another week for Chemo #3. So I decided to get treatment in Peterborough, where Wednesdays will be my doctors appointments and Thursdays will be my Chemo days, and this will happen every other week. Good news is that my lymph nodes are "non bulky" so the plan is 4 months of chemo (8 treatments) followed by 4 weeks of radiation. Radiation will be everyday for 4 weeks straight. This will take me to November where I hope to be completed treatment by my 21st Birthday. That would be the best Birthday present ever. On Monday, I travelled to Ottawa to see Maryam and Katie, my friends who I met in residence. Being around them again felt so normal and it felt like no time had past. We walked around downtown Ottawa Monday afternoon and I had a blast. Laughter really is the best medicine. They were always checking up on me making sure I wasn't pushing myself, even though they knew stopping me was pretty much impossible. They said they were so surprised at how I looked. They said I didn't even look sick and I looked like the Katie they always knew. That's made me feel so good, knowing that I can still fit in and I'm not letting this change me. I'm sure at some point I'll loose my hair but right now I'm just enjoying the freedom I have now. You are probably wondering why I titled this post "Not a setback.. A Breakthrough". Well, during my time in Ottawa, Maryam and I got talking about how this challenge in my life happened so fast. Unfortunately Maryam was in Zambia when I was diagnosed and she did not find out until later. I'm always curious to know how my friends felt because when someone had cancer, it affects everyone around them. Maryam said she just didn't know what to do because it was such a shock. All my friends can do is just be there and make me laugh like they always do. We talked about how I am only 20. Well ya I am only 20 which means I still have my whole life ahead of me and I have the strength to fight this. Everything that happens after this will be extra special. For some reason, this happened. We may not know why yet, but I've realized that the time I have now with my family and friends will never happen again. As soon as I'm better, I'm getting right back out there. I've always been very career driven which will never change but I now know that family, friends and taking time for my health is equally important. Before all of this, you would never expect me to be the creative type. Now I love to paint and I've discovered a whole new world of writing. Instead of thinking about all the things I can't do, I have to think of all the things I can do and nothing is permanent. As my good friend Holly says "this is just peanuts" meaning this "break" in my life is so small compared to everything I will accomplish in life. This week I had my first experience with the effects of chemotherapy. The day after chemo #1 was Canada Day. My parents were expecting me to feel sick but I actually felt very energized. I ended up being in the Port Hope Parade with the cadets and going to the waterfront festival afterwards with my mom. The next few days I ended up going out shopping and probably doing a little too much. I did feel fine though until Wednesday morning. Wednesday morning, I woke up in the middle of the night with an ear ache and I couldn't hear out of that ear. I didn't get out of bed until 11:30 and felt very tired and sick. We were able to to see my family doctor and get a prescription for antibiotics for an ear infection. That day I didn't have an appetite either. Thursday I was still recovering. I realized that now that I'm on chemo that I won't be able to do as much even when I do feel great because I'll end up paying for it later.
Some of the effects of my chemo is that my muscles will get very sore and I'll feel very tired. I've noticed that my legs and back gets sore and I'll usually end up having an afternoon nap everyday. I'm also not allowed to be in the sun as my skin becomes very sensitive. If I am in the sun, I'm always wearing a hat and sunscreen with 110 spf! I've also realized my appetite has decreased. I never know what I want to eat anymore and my portions have decreased. So far, my hair is fine. I have notices that my hair is shedding a bit more but do far it's ok. The nurses have said that usually after the 2nd treatment it will start to come out. In the meantime I've prepped my self with hard, scarves and buffs! So far I think my side effects have been pretty good as I was expecting viscous nausea. Maybe it's because this is my first one but ill definitely still take it day by day to see how I react. This weekend was very fun as I was able to spend Saturday Afternoon downtown Cobourg with Cheyne! It was so nice to get out and feel normal! Sunday I had a visit from my #favteacher, Mr. Bowers who was visiting Ontario all the way from BC! Seeing everybody gives me that extra push I need to get me through this and to be honest I think it helps my parents see that together as a family we aren't doing this alone. The one big fear I had coming back to Ontario to start this journey was that I would be all alone. I was afraid that my friends from high school would be too busy with their summer jobs that I wouldn't see them. However, it's been the complete opposite! Last week I was even feeling a little down because I was very bored and I was thinking to myself that I shouldn't be here, I should be in Newfoundland on the ship. At just the right time, a packaged arrived for me. It was a care package from the crew on the Atlantic Raven last summer. I was so happy to know that even during people's busy lives they have time to show me that I got this and that they are thinking of me. It also reminded me that my goal is to get better and get back out to sea. Lately I get very bored. Many of you who know me, know that I've always been kept very busy. Every summer I've always been away whether on ship or at camp. During the school year, I was of course busy with schoolwork but I also balanced having a job and I was very busy with cadets. Now I wake up and have to figure out what I'll be doing. I've started painting and scrap booking and I plan to start doing a lot of baking. But I'm so thankful that I this is happening during the time of Netflix. I've read many times that it's good to find a show that makes you laugh. So far I've binged watched the Office 2 times and now I'm starting to watch reruns of friends. So if you have any suggestions on shows that would be great because I now have so much times to kill! This Thursday is Chemo #2. Im feeling fine knowing that this is finally going ahead and I'm getting into a routine. Every chemo is a goal because I know that every chemo is just another step forward in getting back to where I belong. |
Author: Katie BarkerJust an average Sailor who battled Cancer and won! Archives
August 2018
Categories |