I decided to try something new and tell my story from a different angle. My good friend and supporter Holly has decided to share my story from her point of view because as we all know when someone has cancer it affects everyone. The reason why I asked Holly because she looks at life with such an open mind and has brought me such happiness and positive energy even before Cancer was in my life. She continues to support me and comes to all my cancer events and encourages me to pursue every opportunity that presents itself. I cannot thank Holly enough for her love and support through this journey. In the summer when she came to visit, I truly felt like a had a new boost of energy to continue my fight. She brought laughter into my home that my whole family needed. Thank you Holly for opening up and sharing your thoughts, I appreciate you so much. Please read from the angle of a supporter and enjoy!: Katie has been asking me to write this post since January, and I to be quite frank, I have been intentionally putting it off, as just thinking about sharing my emotions on the internet makes me anxious. Sharing those moments of happiness and triumph over the web has become almost mindless to most of us, while sharing your down's, your lowest lows, your absolute most raw and uncovered moments lies true beauty and strength. Please, bare with me as I attempt to have even half of Katie’s bravery in sharing my journey as I watched someone I loved so dearly climb up arguably the highest mountain of a challenge in her short 21-year-old life, and then watch her as she so gracefully fought her way up to the top of that mountain. I was recently watching this mindless comedy on Netflix where one of the characters said that all of the things that happen to us in life are opportunities. Getting the job, passing your test, getting the stomach flu, and even getting diagnosed with cancer are all opportunities. The purpose of life is how what we choose to do with these opportunities. Katie had been struggling with her health for months before her diagnosis, and after numerous doctors visits and test, all of us in her life knew that her having cancer was becoming more and more likely. The cancer jokes began to dissipate and then we all began to fear the ‘c’ word in conversation. When Katie’s official diagnosis came in I was in southern Manitoba on a work term by myself. I had no friends and family with me, and I will never forget the feeling I had in my stomach when she told me. It was as if my stomach had a twenty rocks in it and they just kept sinking deeper into my stomach each second I thought about it. Before this moment I had never known anyone personally that had cancer, and my only knowledge of the disease was through how it was presented in the media, and if y’all have seen “My Sister’s Keeper” we know that shit ain’t pretty. Throughout her treatment, I was only able to be with her once, so watching from a distance was incredibly frustrating. As the weeks passed, I remember feeling so guilty all the time. I would go for a walk, and then come back and feel guilty because I knew Katie would not be able to go for walks soon. However, amongst these feelings of guilt, the simple things in life that I had once took for granted, I now had a massive appreciation for. Katie’s illness ignited this flame for life in me that was so long burning on low. This past summer, I took that guilt and turned it into positive energy. I tried so many new things in the spirit of being fearless; a quality that Katie oozes, even before the cancer. So many people in my life now reach to me for positive energy, a good laugh, or even a smile. I wake up every day being goddamn grateful as hell for the life I have, as had to watch my best friends life be ripped away from her for 6 months. Sure, there are bad days, but it is what we make of those cloudy days that make our sunny days so much brighter. I would reach out to Katie almost daily to check in and chat with her throughout her treatment and that girl did not complain once. Not one fricking time did she complain. Imagine going through hell and still being able to smile-that is Katie. She embodies bravery, fearlessness, and one million other amazing qualities. To her I owe so much. As through her journey with cancer she has given me the opportunity to truly live my best life free of guilt, worry, and fear. Opportunity can strike at any time, and perspective is the ultimate weapon. Deep bows of gratitude, Katie. You are such a light.
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Author: Katie BarkerJust an average Sailor who battled Cancer and won! Archives
August 2018
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