This past week I've definitely been kept busy! On Monday, at Peterborough hospital I had a Bone Marrow Biopsy. The doctor froze the back of my hip and took out a piece of bone along with bone marrow, in order to determine my exact stage of cancer. It was not a pleasent feeling. I didn't cry nor scream but I did say "Holy Fuck". (Haha). These are the only words to describe what it felt like as the doctor sucked the bone marrow out. Let's just say this new journey I'm on hasn't and will not change my sailor attitude. On Wednesday at Cobourg Hospital, I had a PICC line insterted. It is a long Cathedar that enters through my arm and leads up into my chest. This is where my chemo will enter through. The doctors freeze the area before they put it in. Unfortunately, I have the worst luck with anything related to IVs and things going into my arm especially my left. No one has ever been able to take blood from that arm so when it came to putting the PICC line in I warned the doctor saying it might not work on my left arm. They went ahead with it and they ended up hitt no a nerve and my vein and arm spazzed up. It honestly felt worse than the bone marrow biopsy, it felt like someone was stepping on my arm and crushing it completely. They ended up having to put it in my right with no problems at all. I didn't feel a thing. Now I have this band on my arm that I will have to wear until I'm finished chemo. My nan even made me a fabric one so I don't have an ugly mesh band the hospital gave me. I also met up with my high school friends again and we had such a nice barbecue. One of my fears about coming home was that I would feel so alone. But I'm not. It feels like nothing has changed and as soon as I stepped foot in Ontario they were ready to support me and take over from my friends in Newfoundland who can't be here right now. I can't wait till they all join up one day and all my small support systems will become one big one! With technology though, no one is ever really gone. I talk to my Newfoundland friends every day and while I was in Newfoundland, I always kept tabs on my Cobourg girls. Laughing and talking with my friends made me forget about all the chaos in my life. We could honestly just do nothing and it would be fine because with them it's always a good time. This is only the start, but I know they will have my back and binge watch Netflix with me whenever I'm up for it. I was told this week that my first chemo will now be moved to this Friday instead of Tuesday. When I was told it would be moved I was upset. You're probably thinking that it's not a big deal but at that moment it was to me. At this time in my life I can't plan anything, tests and doctors appointments are all over the place and I never know what I'm going to feel like. This date for the chemo was set a few weeks prior and it was the only thing in my life that I knew was actually going to happen and I could mentally prepare myself for that day. To be honest, I'm never a fan of change. If something changes and I mean anything, I always need to find the pros of the new change, to be able to move on. In the case of having my chemo on a Friday I had to realize that my parents would be with me all weekend where if it was during the week, my parents would be at work and they wouldn't be reachable if I needed their help with something. After I had my mind changed to Fridays, I found out that my 2nd chemo would be on a different day the next time. At this point I just want them done and I have to go with the flow. I have no control over my schedule. Change is inevitable. It could be change that others like but you don't seem to like it, or you want something to change when others don't. In my case no one likes this change but we just have to deal with it. A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor, meaning a sailor's skills isn't based on how they sail in calm waters it's based upon how they get through stormy seas. Right now, this is my storm. I was always told I had full control of my life. Well that's a lie. You have no control over the situations you are dealt with however you have absolute control on how you deal with it. For those of you who want change...do it. Take advantage of the control you have before it's gone. Whether it be moving away, taking a new program at school etc. Life is not a dress rehearsal. Tomorrow isn't promised. Do what you want to do and choose who you want to do this with.
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Yesterday marked 1 month since my diagnoses and it was definetly one of the hardest days I've experienced, right next to the day I had to fly back to Cobourg. I spent the majority of my day at the Cobourg Hospital. I had a CT scan in the morning followed by a chemo teaching session. There I learnt more information about my chemotherapy and about the Cobourg Cancer Clinic. It was overwhelming walking into the cancer centre because all of a sudden it became real. All at once information was tossed at me. I looked around and saw all the chairs where people sit to get their chemo. I also saw many sick patients and knowing that I'll be in their place very shortly was a hard fact for me to swallow.
After the chemo session, my parents and I went to participate at the Cobourg Relay for Life. My Mom was on the team "Hey Jude" in memory of my Aunt Judy who passed away in November 2015 from Lung and Brain Cancer. Even though I am currently battling Cancer, I was allowed to walk in the survivors lap. I felt very out of place because all of this is still very new and to me I'm not a survivor. My parents reminded me that I will be a survivor. I walked that lap with my dad, my #1 supporter as we both had tears running down our faces. That lap was when all my emotions from earlier that day and now came to me. As we walked around the track, my family from down below was cheering me on. At relay for life, I met up with one of my past teachers who battled Breast Cancer. It's unfortunate that cancer affects some of the most amazing people. What I also realized is that cancer affects everyone, your friends and family. I come from a family with a cancer in our family history, but I didn't think it would ever happen to me, especially at 20. I'm so lucky and fortunate to have a large family supporting me as well as close friends who I consider my own family. Even during Relay, I was messaging my friends from back in Newfoundland saying that when I'm cured we should all do our own team one day. That moment they surprised me and told me that in September they will be walking in the Lymphoma Awarness 5K race in St. John's. I am forever grateful for them. This week I was able to get out of the house a few times and spend time with friends. I get extremely bored at home because I'm used to being busy all the time. My boredness as even got to the extent to where I scrapbook (haha) and for those of you who know me, I don't like to write and this blog is something very new to me! I'm very pleased that all my doctors appointments and treatment plans are falling into place. Next week I have a bone marrow biopsy and I will also have my PICC line inserted. June 27, is the day of my first chemotherapy. Even though this week has been an emotional roller coaster and it's only just the beginning, I keep reminding my self this is only a chapter of my life, not my whole story. I have Cancer, but the Cancer doesn't have me. I am reminded that you never know what someone is going through. Sometimes on bad days I think this situation is awful but I have to to think of all the positive things. I have caught this very early and I also have a great support system which some people unfortunately don't have. Pleas e be kind to one another and support your loved ones on any journey they are on. ❤️ It has been one week since I came back to Cobourg. This week felt like a lifetime waiting for a call to see an Oncologist here in Ontario. This week I was overwhelmed with words of encouragement and emotions. It was so nice to see so many people and reconnect with them. I just want to say thank you to everyone for their hugs, smiles and words of encouragement because they do truly help me.
As soon as I got in the house, my mom told me I had a package. My High School Best Friend Cheyne had her mom drop of a "Box of Sunshine". Everything was yellow in it. It really did brighten my day. Everyone close to me knows that the most disappointing factor of this journey has been having to move back to Cobourg. Seeing this box with words of encouragement from Cheyne made me realize that I will be ok here on Cobourg and I have such an amazing support system in town. This past weekend my family and I went to our cousins cottage and it was such a nice break. It has been "go, go, go" for so many weeks trying to get my schooling done and getting all my doctors appointments set up. I was also able to see a few of my high school friends as well. It is amazing that after so long we can just pick up where we left off. Another added bonus to my week, was seeing my friend Katie who is from Newfoundland. Her ship "HMCS Goosebay" happened to be in Cobourg and she was able to give me a private tour. This week I have felt a change in my health. I have felt extremely tired and I have been feeling pains in my chest from what I think is my pressure on my chest from my enlarged lymph nodes. Yesterday I finally met with my Oncologist/Hematologist in Peterborough. He said that from my previous CT scan, I have early stage Hodgkins. Before I start Chemotherapy, I have to do a CT scan on my chest which will be done here in Cobourg and I also have to complete a PET scan which can only be done in Toronto at either Princess Margaret or Sunny Brook Hospital. I will hopefully get a call for those scans next week. I also have to get a PICC line in my arm, which will allow the chemo drugs to enter my arm as well as be the area for the nurses to take my blood. Once that is in my arm, someone will have to come to the house once a week and flush it out. I will also have to attend a chemotherapy teaching session in which I will learn all the side effects of the drugs and how I will have to adjust my daily routine while I'm on chemo. Fortunately, I will be able to get treatment and see my doctor in Cobourg. Every other Thursday I will be seeing my Oncologist and on the opposite weeks on the Tuesday will be my Chemo days. The plan for me right now is to have 4 doses of chemo, one every other week meaning 2 months of chemotherapy. The chemotherapy I will be receiving is called ABVD. After Chemotherapy the plan is for me to receive radiation and the duration for that is unknown. I am expected to start chemo in 2 weeks time. It feels so good to have a plan in place. However; when man makes plans, god laughs. That is what I have learn't so far. In life we can have plan but it always changes. It has been such a long journey so far and I know I have a long road ahead of me. Below I have added some links to help you all learn what ABVD is and some other links to help you answer any questions you all may have. PET Scan: http://www.cancer.ca/en/cancer-information/diagnosis-and-treatment/tests-and-procedures/positron-emission-tomography-pet-scan/?region=sk ABVD: http://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancerinformation/cancertreatment/treatmenttypes/chemotherapy/combinationregimen/abvd.aspx Hodgkins Lymphoma: http://www.cancer.ca/en/cancer-information/cancer-type/hodgkin-lymphoma/hodgkin-lymphoma/?region=on |
Author: Katie BarkerJust an average Sailor who battled Cancer and won! Archives
August 2018
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