This past week I've definitely been kept busy! On Monday, at Peterborough hospital I had a Bone Marrow Biopsy. The doctor froze the back of my hip and took out a piece of bone along with bone marrow, in order to determine my exact stage of cancer. It was not a pleasent feeling. I didn't cry nor scream but I did say "Holy Fuck". (Haha). These are the only words to describe what it felt like as the doctor sucked the bone marrow out. Let's just say this new journey I'm on hasn't and will not change my sailor attitude. On Wednesday at Cobourg Hospital, I had a PICC line insterted. It is a long Cathedar that enters through my arm and leads up into my chest. This is where my chemo will enter through. The doctors freeze the area before they put it in. Unfortunately, I have the worst luck with anything related to IVs and things going into my arm especially my left. No one has ever been able to take blood from that arm so when it came to putting the PICC line in I warned the doctor saying it might not work on my left arm. They went ahead with it and they ended up hitt no a nerve and my vein and arm spazzed up. It honestly felt worse than the bone marrow biopsy, it felt like someone was stepping on my arm and crushing it completely. They ended up having to put it in my right with no problems at all. I didn't feel a thing. Now I have this band on my arm that I will have to wear until I'm finished chemo. My nan even made me a fabric one so I don't have an ugly mesh band the hospital gave me. I also met up with my high school friends again and we had such a nice barbecue. One of my fears about coming home was that I would feel so alone. But I'm not. It feels like nothing has changed and as soon as I stepped foot in Ontario they were ready to support me and take over from my friends in Newfoundland who can't be here right now. I can't wait till they all join up one day and all my small support systems will become one big one! With technology though, no one is ever really gone. I talk to my Newfoundland friends every day and while I was in Newfoundland, I always kept tabs on my Cobourg girls. Laughing and talking with my friends made me forget about all the chaos in my life. We could honestly just do nothing and it would be fine because with them it's always a good time. This is only the start, but I know they will have my back and binge watch Netflix with me whenever I'm up for it. I was told this week that my first chemo will now be moved to this Friday instead of Tuesday. When I was told it would be moved I was upset. You're probably thinking that it's not a big deal but at that moment it was to me. At this time in my life I can't plan anything, tests and doctors appointments are all over the place and I never know what I'm going to feel like. This date for the chemo was set a few weeks prior and it was the only thing in my life that I knew was actually going to happen and I could mentally prepare myself for that day. To be honest, I'm never a fan of change. If something changes and I mean anything, I always need to find the pros of the new change, to be able to move on. In the case of having my chemo on a Friday I had to realize that my parents would be with me all weekend where if it was during the week, my parents would be at work and they wouldn't be reachable if I needed their help with something. After I had my mind changed to Fridays, I found out that my 2nd chemo would be on a different day the next time. At this point I just want them done and I have to go with the flow. I have no control over my schedule. Change is inevitable. It could be change that others like but you don't seem to like it, or you want something to change when others don't. In my case no one likes this change but we just have to deal with it. A smooth sea never made a skillful sailor, meaning a sailor's skills isn't based on how they sail in calm waters it's based upon how they get through stormy seas. Right now, this is my storm. I was always told I had full control of my life. Well that's a lie. You have no control over the situations you are dealt with however you have absolute control on how you deal with it. For those of you who want change...do it. Take advantage of the control you have before it's gone. Whether it be moving away, taking a new program at school etc. Life is not a dress rehearsal. Tomorrow isn't promised. Do what you want to do and choose who you want to do this with.
4 Comments
Shelley Vogel
6/25/2017 08:47:15 pm
you are such a brave young woman. One thing that will help is to keep your sense of humor. Laughing is easier than crying. you can't change anything so laugh at the whole situation.
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6/26/2017 04:17:06 am
Katie,
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Barb Murray
6/26/2017 06:39:08 am
You are an amazing young woman who has achieved so much already. The fact that you have the confidence to know what you want in life and what you are meant to do is more than most people your age so this journey can only make you stronger. I have no doubt you will conquer this foe and be back sailing the seas in no time. Your family and friends are with you on this journey and will not let you flounder. Stay strong!!!
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Lisa-Marie
6/26/2017 10:48:10 am
I love the sailor analogy! You will never be alone after a treatment!! Please can us and we will come in a heart beat to stay with you during week day!! Glenn and I would love to learn more about all the sailing and navigation tou have done!! Keep up the spirit
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Author: Katie BarkerJust an average Sailor who battled Cancer and won! Archives
August 2018
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