On Friday I flew to Montreal to attend the "Sur La Pointe Des Pieds Getaway Expedition". The foundation "Sur La Pointe Des Pieds" is a foundation based in Chicoutimi, Quebec that allows young people living with cancer to enjoy a therapeutic "getaway" trip in the outdoors. When I first applied to this expedition, I thought this would be an excellent opportunity to meet other young adults who are in the boat as me, as well as give me an opportunity to get out of the house. I did just that, but when I applied I had no idea I wouldcome back with the most amazing friendships and a different outlook on life. This Getaway Expedition was one of the shortest trips of my life however it was the most meaningful and memorable. When I flew to Montreal I was greeted by some of the other participants and the expedition facilitators. From the beginning, we were so open about our illnesses and diagnoses. For the very first time, I was understood. I was one of the few English speaking participants; However, the language barrier didn't hold us back. With the help of some translations, we were able to communicate. That night we had dinner at the hotel and discussed so many things such as our illnesses but we also related ourselves by what we liked to study, eat and do for fun. We didn't just talk about Cancer which was also a nice break. The next morning, we met the rest of the participants. There were 10 of total, some of us were in remission and some were still in treatment like myself. Immediately we all bonded and traveled on the bus all the way to Poission Blanc which is North of Gatineau. On the bus there, we had to hand in all of our electronics which were our phones and watches. That meant for the next few days, we weren't allowed communication with the outside world nor the time of day. Truthfully, I didn't miss my phone at all and it meant that we were all truly invested into this trip. Our mind was focused on this trip and nothing else. This also allowed us to not stress or worry about a schedule. The schedule was in the hands of our facilitators and we just focused on supporting each other. We started at a base camp where we spent that night there. There we were handed all of out gear that we would need for the next few days. The next few days were spent canoeing in large voyager canoes on Poisson Blanc Lake and camping out in the woods. I loved the canoeing and even had a chance to steer many times! I've canoed many time before and obviously steered many boats boats before but It gave me that extra boost of self - confidence and that I needed. At night we all slept in one big 15 man tent. The last night, a few of us decided that we should sleep on the beach under the stars, I am so glad we did. I had the best sleep and it was so refreshing to sleep outside and fall asleep looking at the stars. Throughout the expedition I had the most meaningful conversations with other participants. Over the 4 short days we bonded so much. I have never felt so close to someone in such a short amount of time until now. Of course, it was definitely the circumstances that brought us together, but knowing that I was finally understood and to be an ear to listen for someone else or a shoulder to cry on is such an amazing feeling. This Getaway Expedition taught me so many lessons that I will need in order to continue this fight. The first thing is that I can't compare myself others. I have recently been struggling with the fact that I wasn't able go on work term like the rest of my classmates and continue my studies. Since school started I felt down when I saw people starting school again. However, my life is different from others and it isn't necessarily a bad thing. At some point in life we all realize that we are all on different journeys and we aren't meant to be the same. I just had to learn this early on in life. We all go through life at different stages. I don't know when I'll graduate, travel again or start a family but by the time I accomplish those things I will have so much done like beaten Cancer. I will treat life as a gift as I already am. I will do things that make me happy and I will leave anything negative in my life. Life is not a race. The second thing I've come to realize is that the hardest part is yet to come. When I was first diagnosed I had this idea in my head that I would get treatment, beat cancer and get back to my normal life. I have been told that It will be anything but normal. I realize that I will probably always be thinking of Cancer. Cancer does not define me but I can't deny that it is apart of me. Cancer plays a big role in my life and like I mentioned before, it has now changed the way I look at life. There will be continuous Doctors appointments for the rest of my life and my body will never be the same. I've lost weight and gained weight all at the same time. Hair usually doesn't grow back the same, and the way I eat now had entirely changed. I have been told that moving on is a very difficult challenge and it is more of working through it than moving on. The friendships that I made on this expedition, I will forever hold in my heart. They knew exactly how I felt when I was diagnosed, they know how difficult treatment can be and they know how difficult it is to have Cancer as a young adult. We are supposed to be independent and at the beginning of our careers yet we have to rely on others and take a break and watch others move on in life. When they said "I get it", I knew they truly did. Someone else could say " I get it" or try to help me by relating my cancer to another cancer story they heard, and I truly do appreciate everyone's support but no one else truly understands except for another young adult with cancer. We were able to compare our diagnoses, cancer types and side effects. On the way home, when I was brushing through my hair, a lot of my hair was coming out. Serena, one of my good friends from the trip looked at me waiting for my reaction. I laughed and then so did she. I think most people would have cried but Serena had been through the same thing and to us it just seemed funny because it was almost a perfect place and timing to have hair loss. Where else would you want to have hair loss? Obviously Cancer Camp! The group on this expedition even had the same humor as I did! We could make cancer jokes and not offend anybody. I believe that humor heals even when it is slightly dark. We joked about using the "C-card" or when someone tells us that something such as a type food is going to give us Cancer. When I talked to the other participants it was like a weight was lifted off my shoulder and it felt like I had known these people for year and had walked through my journey with me by my side. At the end of the expedition we had to choose one word to describe the trip. The word that I chose was "Exhilarating". For the first time since my diagnoses I felt like I could truly breathe. I was out in the fresh air having the time of my life and I was understood. I have never laughed so much until that trip. I obviously didn't forget about Cancer, but on this trip felt at peace and I was enjoying life. I haven't been able to travel and I have been so busy doing my treatments and attending doctors appointments. I felt like I was in a tunnel just looking at the end goal. One participant at the beginning said that she didnt get the whole therapy part of the trip, but at the end we all laughed about it. There weren't really therapy sessions but just being outside in nature with other who understand you was the therapy. I truly needed to "get away". Now that I am home and getting back to my regular routine, I'm missing the trip Incredibly. I can't wait till we are reunited again but I know that my new friends will continue to support me and that they are only a phone call or message away. I have Chemo #8 this week, I have a new boost of energy to get my through it! Below I have shared some pictures from the expedition, I promise there are plenty more coming your way!
1 Comment
Louis
10/5/2017 11:00:21 am
Just found out your blog. I feel privileged to have met you. You and the other participants were and will be an inspiration for me for the rest of my life.
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Author: Katie BarkerJust an average Sailor who battled Cancer and won! Archives
August 2018
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